Vol. 1 Chapter 5

1

There was alcohol stored under the floor of our kitchen, and Kasuga and I borrowed some of it. It felt like we were thieves, each holding a can of chuhai (Strong Zero) in both hands.『But we can’t exactly drink at home』we said, so we headed to a nearby park.

In the park after the rain, the sand was muddy and squishy. Kasuga wiped the water droplets off a bench with her handkerchief, and we sat down side by side.

“Good work today.”

We clinked our cans together and poured the chuhai down into our stomachs.

“Well, it’s just a rejection. It’s not like we’re going to die.”

“It’s not like the world is ending or anything.”

The park at midnight was empty. If the police showed up, we might get taken in for questioning, but there didn’t seem to be any sign of that.

“But honestly, I had more fun than I expected. Lately, things felt kinda fulfilling.”

“Yeah.”

I found myself thinking back on the past few months with Kasuga. I guess this meant it was coming to a close, too.

“Thinking that this might be the last time we meet like this, it kind of hits you, doesn’t it?”

“Huh? Is it?”

Kasuga said that, sounding a little surprised.

“Well, our relationship was just about raising our points and confessing, right? So there’s no reason for us to meet anymore.”

“I see.”

Kasuga finished the chuhai in her hand. Her face was red.

“Well, if that’s what you say, Aoki, then I guess so.”

“It’s the last time, so let’s go all out and drink. If we get all sentimental, it’ll probably drag on.”

“Roger.”

After that, things got a bit rough. Kasuga suddenly said, 『Hey, watch this. I’m actually pretty good at cartwheels』and without caring that her hands got dirty, she kept doing endless cartwheels while continuing to drink. Eventually, when she got tired of that, she started muttering in a hollow voice,『All happy couples can just die』while chugging alcohol at a high pace.

【People can live without romance】

【If a nuclear missile falls, romance is meaningless anyway】

【Just study instead of worrying about love】

【A student’s duty is to study, right?】

She kept mumbling things like that under her breath, until suddenly, like a robot whose batteries had run out, she went quiet and fell asleep.

“Hey, Kasuga. Don’t fall asleep.”

She didn’t listen at all and just slept on the bench. I couldn’t exactly leave her there and go home. I didn’t feel like waking her for a while, so as I watched her, I suddenly felt something strange stir inside me. But no, that’s not good. As I closed my eyes and tried to suppress that feeling, I ended up dozing off for a moment too.

Then, suddenly, I felt a soft sensation on my lips and I opened my eyes in surprise.

Right in front of me, close enough that I could feel her breath, was Kasuga’s face.

“Aoki. Wake up. Let’s go home.”

It happened so suddenly that I couldn’t react properly, and all I managed to say was,『Hey… what did you just—』

“Well, you wouldn’t wake up no matter what I did.”

Kasuga said that, already turning her back to me and starting to walk a few meters ahead, so I couldn’t see her expression.

“Come on, let’s go. Hurry.”

I couldn’t be bothered to press her any further, so I just quietly followed after her.

At some point, the park lights had gone out and it was truly a pitch-black night.

All of a sudden, I felt like maybe I should just say it.

I was surprised at myself for even feeling that way.

I guess, as a person, I’d gotten soft.

That faint tension I always had when I was around others had loosened and before I knew it, I felt like saying it. With Kasuga, it felt like it wouldn’t matter if I did.

Maybe… she might even believe me.

“I can actually see them. The points.”

“Hm? See what?”

“I mean, up until now I made it sound like I was just thinking things up and assigning points to people on my own, but that’s not it. I can really see them. The points. They just appear in my head. Your points, everyone’s points… all of them.”

“Heeey… right…”

Silence fell. Time stretched on, almost endlessly, until finally Kasuga spoke again.

“Well then, I’m heading home for today.”

“You don’t believe me, do you?”

“Of course not. If you’re serious, Aoki, you should probably go to a hospital.”

As she was leaving, Kasuga said that with an exasperated tone.

I am going, though. To the hospital.

2

I think everyone has at least one person they don’t want to see.

Someone whose face you know well and because there’s something about them you dislike, you just don’t want to run into them.

For me, that person is Kou-chan.

But aside from that common pattern, there are also cases where you don’t want to meet someone even though you’ve never seen them, never spoken to them, don’t even know their face.

For me, that was my sister’s fiancé.

When I got home, I saw a pair of unfamiliar leather shoes and I hesitated, wondering if I should just turn around and go out for a walk somewhere instead. But the sound of the front door opening had already alerted my family, and even though she doesn’t usually do this, my sister actually came all the way to the entrance that day just to say,『Welcome back.』

“Is your boyfriend here?”

A man’s voice I didn’t recognize drifted out from the living room. Just that alone somehow felt unsettling.

“Naoto, make sure you greet him properly, okay?”

When I stepped into the living room, the man stood up from his seat and said,『Nice to meet you』before I could even say anything, greeting me politely despite me being just a high school student. He had a strangely confident look on his face. Points: 68. For my sister, I’d say that’s a decent catch.

Apparently, my sister’s new boyfriend works at an IT company. He’s already a board member at a young age, or something like that. I don’t really get it, but it sounds impressive, probably. To be honest, at a glance, his looks aren’t all that great. And yet he’s got 68 points, so the rest of him must be exceptional. This is probably a good place for her to settle.

My parents and my sister were all smiling in good spirits and somehow it felt like they were putting on an act of being a happy family in front of this man.

At times like this, I found myself idly wondering what Kou-chan would have done back then. Like how he showed me when I was a kid, if I crossed my arms in an X and fired a beam, it’d be nice if I could just burn away this whole depressing scene.

“Sorry, I need to take a work call for a moment.”

Saying that, my sister’s boyfriend stepped away from the table. Most of us had already finished eating anyway, so it wasn’t really an issue.

『He seems like a nice person』my mother said, and my father and sister nodded in agreement. I thought so too. But at the same time, I found myself thinking something pretty twisted, that it would’ve been better if he’d been a more unimpressive kind of guy.

Planning to just retreat to my room, I stepped out into the hallway, where I found my sister’s boyfriend speaking on the phone in a sharp tone. His manner of speaking was calm but his words were cold as he reprimanded the person on the other end. I wondered if someday, that same coldness might be directed at my sister.

When our eyes met, he smiled gently, and after a moment, he ended the call.

Then he looked at me and said,『Nothing but useless people, I swear.』

There was something about the way he said it, almost like he was enjoying himself a little, and I honestly thought to myself that I didn’t really like this guy.

3

During lunch break, staring blankly at my phone screen, I was watching— for some reason— a YouTube video of Cristiano Ronaldo repeatedly missing perfect scoring chances. And then it suddenly hit me. Yeah… that’s exactly what I was the other day.

How did it end up like this?

We were supposed to have mutual feelings.

If I can mess up a chance this big, then maybe I’ll go my whole life without ever being in a relationship. I realized that risk was real. At this rate, I’d become someone who never has a girlfriend. Maybe that wouldn’t be so bad, but… it’d be a lonely life.

And if I kept living that kind of lonely life, what would be waiting for me at the end?

Probably nothing.

I always had this vague anxiety about dealing with people.

Since then, I haven’t really talked to Kasuga much. Nothing personal at all.

Sometimes after school, I catch myself about to start a conversation with her, and then I snap back to my senses in a hurry.

Kasuga was casually chatting with people who had about the same number of points as her, like it came naturally. I figured that was good. She was living like a normal high schooler should.

I was the one who said we should keep our distance that night in the park. But now, I don’t know if this distance, where we’re basically like strangers, is really the right one.

So I spent my days with this strange mix of feelings, a bit lonely, but also kind of relieved. Then one night, out of nowhere, I got a LINE message from Kasuga.

Kasuga〉 “Hey, I need to talk about something.”

I kind of regretted opening it right away. It made it seem like I’d been waiting for a message from her. Because of that, it suddenly felt hard to reply immediately. While I was hesitating, I realized I’d completely missed the timing to respond. No matter how you look at it, replying after more than a week would be weird.

Even though I hadn’t intended to at first, I ended up ignoring Kasuga’s message.

Even something as simple as a LINE message… if I let my guard down, I mess it up right away.

When I got to the classroom that day, the first thing I did, almost unconsciously, was look around for Naruse. But for some reason, she wasn’t there. Absent?

But when the homeroom teacher came in and started taking attendance, they called out『Naruse』and someone answered,

“Here.”

I turned my gaze toward the voice.

A different person was sitting there.

Naruse’s points had dropped to an unbelievable level.

The light makeup she always wore was gone, replaced by a completely bare face. Her hair was black now, messy and unkempt.

She had thick, bottle-bottom glasses, a mustard-colored cardigan, a faded floral skirt, a frumpy light beige shirt, and on top of that, a beret. What is this, Osamu Tezuka or something? I thought. Osamu Tezuka¹

As soon as homeroom ended, I went up to the god of manga and spoke to her.

“…Naruse?”

“Yes. What is it?”

“No, your whole character is off.”

 I said it straight.

“I am undergoing a reverse high school debut.”

That was a new term I’d never heard before. Maybe she made it up herself.

“And what exactly led Naruse-san to arrive at the decision to undergo this『reverse debut』…?” I asked, unintentionally sounding like a rookie interviewer.

“Nothing in particular. Just kind of a casual image change.”

That『image change』of Naruse’s was pretty shocking to me.

For a moment, I felt like messaging Kasuga on LINE, 『Hey, is Naruse like this because of me?』Then I suddenly came to my senses and stopped myself.

The one I should be talking to isn’t Kasuga. It’s Naruse.

The next day, I found myself facing the『severe lack of casual conversation starters』problem.

I wanted it to feel natural, like I was just casually talking with Naruse. And I wanted to ask all sorts of things, like why she stopped caring about her appearance.

During lunch break, while watching Naruse closely, I thought it over.

But seriously, how do normal people even start casual conversations? The more I thought about it, the deeper I sank into a rut. Still, I kept worrying about it.

【Did you see yesterday’s news?】Maybe that could work. But the problem is, I don’t even really know yesterday’s news myself. I checked some articles on my phone. It was all depressing stuff.【Did you see that illegal donation scandal yesterday? I’d like to try bribery just once myself.】Yeah… that’s weird. Isn’t there something more relatable? Like class topics. Did anything happen? Maybe test-related stuff.【Have you memorized the scope for the upcoming physics exam yet? By the way, who even is『Liebe』in『Suieki Ribe Boku no Fune』?】Way too pointless. I just looked it up earlier, and apparently『Liebe』means『love』in German. Well, I love you too, Naruse (serious face). Yeah, that’s just plain creepy.

“Hey, Aoki. What are you doing?”

Naruse’s exasperated voice cut in, and I panicked hard. I hadn’t even considered the possibility that she’d talk to me first.

“Huh? N-no, nothing. D-do you need something?”

“You’ve been staring at me this whole time. What is it?”

“Oh, right, right. Suiei—”

“You’re trying to cover it up with something totally pointless right now, aren’t you?”

In an instant, I ran out of all options and fell silent.

When I glanced around, my classmates were all watching me and Naruse closely. Naruse stands out. If she’s talking to someone like me, a borderline loner, it’s bound to draw even more attention. Maybe I’m overthinking it, but still… it’s rough.

“I don’t really like this kind of place.”

So then, yeah, the audiovisual room, let’s go there, I was about to say, when—

“Then how about we go to karaoke after school?”

Naruse said.

“Huh?”

I gave the dumbest possible reaction.

“What? If you don’t want to, you don’t have to go.”

Naruse said, looking displeased.

“N-no, I do. I want to go. Let’s go.”

Anxiety, tension, confusion, and anticipation all at once sent my heart rate shooting up.『Okay, then it’s settled.』 Naruse went back to her seat.

After that, during the afternoon classes, until school ended, I couldn’t calm down at all and just kept playing games on my phone the whole time.

4

After school, we ended up in a karaoke room near the school.

“Hey… this is bad.”

Naruse was the first to notice it.

“What is?”

At that point, we had just entered the room and hadn’t sung a single song yet.

It was a self-service karaoke place, so Naruse had gone to get drinks and apparently, she happened to catch a glimpse of the room next door.

“Something’s off about the room next door.”

『Yeah?』I said, about to queue up a song on the touch panel remote, when Naruse grabbed my arm.

“This isn’t the time to be singing.”

“Huh? What’s going on?”

“Just come with me.”

Pulled along by Naruse, I stepped out into the hallway. She pressed her index finger against my lips and whispered,『Shh.』Not really understanding, I kept quiet for now. Then, guided by her, I peeked through the glass door into the next room.

The first thing that came into view was a muscular guy.

『I can only see muscles. What is this, some kind of roundabout confession of a fetish?』I said to Naruse, and she whispered in my ear,『Look properly.』

Since she told me to, I focused my eyes more carefully.

Looking closer, I realized those muscles actually had a face attached to them.

It was Soyama.

“Yeah, it’s Soyama. So what?”

Since this karaoke place was near the school, it wouldn’t be strange for him to be there.

“There’s someone else too, right?”

When she pointed it out, I saw a girl. Who was it? Even though it was a glass door, parts of it were frosted, making it hard to see her face clearly. Then the girl stood up.

“This is bad.”

“Let’s retreat.”

We quickly slipped back into our own room and peeked out into the hallway from inside.

The person who came out of the room next door…was Kasuga.

Beyond the single glass door, Kasuga’s familiar face passed right by.

『What’s going on?』I turned to Naruse, who was right beside me, my confusion spilling out.

“Hey, don’t ask me. I’ve got no idea either.”

“Yeah…makes sense.”

“Also, Aoki, your face is too close.”

“…Sorry.”

I hurriedly leaned my upper body back.

“But still… it kinda looks like love, doesn’t it?”

“Does it?”

“It totally does.”

Now that she mentioned it, the distance between Kasuga and Soyama earlier did feel strangely close…I think.

“So, what are you gonna do?”

Naruse asked me.

“What do you mean, what am I gonna do…?”

I mean, Kasuga liked Soyama in the first place. If I think about it calmly, that’s probably a good thing.

“I’ve got nothing to do with it.”

“Well, if you say so.”

Naruse sank deep into the vinyl leather sofa.『Go on, pick a song.』

I didn’t really feel like it. Honestly, I was still completely unsettled. Maybe trying to shake me out of that mood, Naruse said impatiently.

“Then let’s do a karaoke battle. If you lose, you have to do one thing the winner says.”

So I went first. Thinking about it, I wasn’t even sure if Naruse and I had the same taste in music. I liked slightly obscure rock, but I wasn’t confident she’d know it. So instead, I picked a song I often saw on the charts, from a band I didn’t particularly like. It was a hit, after all. I’d practiced songs like that, just so I could sing them when I went out with classmates and not ruin the mood.

I sang while focusing only on not going off-key. When I finished, the score came up. 82 points. Not bad. Still, even here, being judged by points made me feel a bit suffocated.

“Can I sing something I actually like?”

Naruse queued up a slightly older song. Whether everyone would know it was questionable.

『This is your kind of song, Aoki』she said during the instrumental break.

It was about a guy who wallows in his worries. Dark and intense. A male vocalist’s song.

I found myself wondering what Kasuga and Soyama were talking about right now. I couldn’t help but think about it.

Naruse’s singing fit the song perfectly. Or rather… I was honestly surprised. She was that good. Almost intimidatingly good. Without even needing to see the score, it was obvious she had won.

She set the microphone down, and the room lit up. Her score was 94.

“Naruse, you’re way too good.”

“I used to think about starting a band. I actually wanted to join the light music club. I even went to check it out. That was the audition song for new vocalists, so I practiced it.”

“But you joined the tennis club, didn’t you?”

“I thought about doing both. But I quit the band idea. That kind of passion fades pretty quickly, you know? It’s whatever.”

To me, even just having had a period where she devoted herself to something made Naruse seem like a far better person than me. I’ve never really put my all into anything. If there’s anything I ever got absorbed in… it might’ve just been raising Kasuga’s points.

“Anyway, you win, Naruse. Go ahead, ask for whatever you want.”

When I said that, Naruse fell into deep thought. Seeing her like that made me tense up too.『Nothing that costs too much money, okay?』I hurriedly added.

Staring straight at me, Naruse slowly leaned closer. The atmosphere felt strange. Her expression was almost like she was glaring. Before I knew it, her face was so close it was almost too close—

And then, our lips touched.

“…………”

“…………”

What was that just now? What even happened?

“…I’ll head home first.”

Naruse quickly grabbed her bag and left the room as if she were running away.

Leaving only me behind.

I brought the microphone in my hand up to my mouth and shouted,『What the hell was that?!』Then it hit me a moment later that if I kept that up, the people next door—Soyama and the others—might notice.

I couldn’t help but wonder…were those two next door doing the same thing Naruse and I just did?

Not that thinking about it would change anything.

Naruse had left and I didn’t feel like doing solo karaoke. So I decided to go home. With no energy left, I picked up the bill.

Come to think of it, Naruse had forgotten to pay.

Well, that part was fine.

The problem was, when I checked my wallet, there was nothing but coins inside.

What do I do?

I don’t have enough money.

After letting out a long sigh and feeling thoroughly depressed, I took out my phone. Then I tried to send a LINE message to Kasuga. I typed it out.

〉Transfer me some money right now.

But in the end, I couldn’t send it.

Even though she was right next door, even though she’d always been so close until now, Kasuga felt as distant as if she were in another country.

5

In the end, I had to call my sister to come bail me out at the karaoke place. Somehow I made it back home, lay down on my bed and opened LINE. I hesitated, but there was no way I could fall asleep like this. I sent Naruse a message.

Me〉“What was that today?”

I turned over and stared up at the ceiling. What am I even doing…

Naruse〉“…Nothing.”

Me〉“You don’t kiss someone for『nothing.』”

Naruse〉“Don’t…”

Naruse〉“Don’t ask me that.”

I didn’t know what to type. It was hard. But I didn’t want it to seem like I was overthinking it, taking too long, so I just sent something.

Me〉“I was actually planning to talk about something else today.”

Naruse〉“About what?”

Me〉“Well…”

Me〉“Haven’t you been kinda weird lately? Like your appearance?”

Naruse〉“I can look however I want, can’t I?”

Naruse〉“Right?”

Me〉“No, it’s definitely weird. Why did you suddenly change your image?”

Naruse〉“……”

Naruse〉“It’s just…”

Naruse〉“I thought maybe this kind of look would be more your type. So I tried to match it.”

Right as we reached that point in the conversation, for some reason, a LINE message from Kasuga suddenly popped up.

Kasuga〉“Hey—”

It didn’t seem like anything important, so I left it unread and ignored it.

I kept talking with Naruse.

Me〉“That doesn’t make any sense.”

Naruse〉“Like, maybe a plainer look…”

Naruse〉“Or a bit clumsy-looking might be better.”

Me〉“Does that mean…”

Me〉“You intentionally lowered yourself?”

Naruse〉“I don’t know.”

Naruse: “I really don’t know.”

Naruse: “This is exhausting.”

Naruse〉“Aoki, what do you want me to do?”

Me〉“What do you mean, what should you do…”

Am I the one making her emotionally unstable? What’s the『correct answer』in a situation like this again?

Me〉“If you can just be yourself, Naruse, that’s enough for me.”

Naruse〉“That kind of—”

Kasuga〉“Heeey—”

Kasuga, just wait a second.

Naruse〉“There’s no such thing as a『real me』anyway.”

Naruse〉“I saw in a magazine today,『Add your individuality with accessories.』”

Naruse〉“Should I just do that?”

Naruse〉“Sorry, forget it.”

Huh… what a hassle. I couldn’t help but feel a bit put off.

Was Naruse always like this?

Kasuga〉“Hey!!”

Me〉“What do you mean『forget it』?”

Naruse〉“Aoki, you’re such a pain.”

Me? I’m the pain? Why?

No… actually, maybe I really am kind of a pain.

Naruse〉“Say something.”

Me〉“I don’t even know what I’m supposed to say!”

(→ couldn’t send)

Kasuga〉“Don’t ignore me!”

Kasuga, stop. You’re making this confusing. Just give up.

Naruse〉“…But today, karaoke was fun.”

Me〉“Really?”

Naruse〉“Let’s go somewhere together again.”

Me〉“Sure. Where do you want to go?”

Right after typing that, I wondered if that was a mistake. Maybe I should’ve said where I wanted to go instead. But it was already marked as read.

Meanwhile, Kasuga, whom I’d been ignoring, kept sending messages persistently, one after another.

I clicked my tongue and opened Kasuga’s chat. You were just at karaoke with Soyama, weren’t you? That should be enough. You’re happy, right? Go be happy on your own.

Me〉“What is it?”

Me〉“I told you, I’m busy right now.”

Kasuga〉“Something kinda bad happened.”

Me〉“Huh?”

Me〉“What do you mean?”

Me〉“Just say it already.”

As my exchange with Kasuga started to feel slightly tense, another message came in, this time from Naruse.

Naruse〉“Aoki, where do you want to go?”

Me〉“Anywhere you want is fine.”

Naruse〉“That’s not it.”

Naruse〉“Don’t make me decide everything.”

At this point, I was switching back and forth between Kasuga’s chat and Naruse’s, sending messages to both. It felt strangely hectic and my brain was starting to get a little overwhelmed.

Me〉“Hey, where are you right now?”

Kasuga〉“The park.”

Me〉“That doesn’t help.”

Kasuga〉“The park where we drank the other day.”

Me〉“What are you struggling with?”

Kasuga〉“My feelings.”

Me〉“What’s that supposed to mean? That’s ultra troublesome.”

Naruse-style troublesome and Kasuga-style troublesome combined into double the trouble and my brain felt like it was about to hit its limit.

I didn’t really understand, but maybe…no, even without guessing, it had to be about Soyama. Probably. Should I respond? Or should I keep ignoring her?

I felt like I wanted to ask someone for advice. But I don’t have anyone like that. So I tried asking Siri.

【What do you think I should say to Kasuga?】

【Sorry, I don’t understand.】

Cold.

Naruse〉“It’s fine.”

Naruse〉“Then just come to my place tomorrow.”

Me〉“Ah, okay.”

Naruse〉“Then let’s continue this conversation next time.”

That’s where my conversation with Naruse paused, and I found myself feeling relieved.

Kasuga〉“Anyway, Aoki, stop it.”

Me〉“Stop what?”

Kasuga〉“My…”

Kasuga〉“I have…”

Kasuga〉“a limited vocabulary…”

Kasuga〉“so it’s hard to explain.”

Kasuga〉“Anyway…”

Kasuga〉“p”

Kasuga〉“l”

Kasuga〉“e”

Kasuga〉“a”

Kasuga〉“s”

Kasuga〉“e”

Kasuga〉“help”

What the hell is this, seriously? Give me a break already.

I tossed my phone into the corner of the room, buried my face into the bed, and lay face down.

Ignore it.

Too much trouble.

Ignore it, ignore it.

I’m ignoring this.

It’s night anyway. I’ve already taken a bath. Brushed my teeth too. All that’s left is to sleep. I don’t want to go outside. I’m seeing Naruse tomorrow. Might as well just go to bed. And besides… it’s probably better if I don’t get too close to Kasuga anymore. Somehow, that’s what I felt.

I spent a while coming up with excuses not to go.

In the end, it kept bothering me and I got out of bed.

Whenever you get involved with other people, it just leads to more trouble.

I slipped on my sandals and stepped outside.

What does she mean,『help』? That’s unsettling.

As I briskly made my way toward the park, I started to feel something strange.

Was I feeling unwell? Maybe I should’ve just stayed in bed after all. What is this? Something feels off.

I picked up my pace, walking fast enough to break into a slight sweat, trying to shake off the drowsiness.

Something felt wrong. Something was off. The sensations inside me felt strange.

It wasn’t just because of Kasuga’s message.

It felt like I wasn’t myself. An unsettling feeling.

Across the crosswalk, the bright lights of a convenience store glared at me.

The sound of cars on the main road started to feel like some kind of avant-garde noise music with meaning… except I had the sense I’d never be able to understand that meaning.

The signal changed from green to red, and I stopped.

Sometimes, at moments like this, I wonder…maybe my mind is slowly starting to break. That thought crosses my mind. It’s probably already partly true, but it feels like something much bigger, like my entire self is gradually falling apart.

How old do I even plan to live to? If things keep going like this, wouldn’t everything just end up as hell no matter what?

No…stop pretending to be overly sensitive and spiraling like this, I told myself.

I don’t want to think about this. If only there were some kind of drug that could stop me from worrying.

The park was just ahead.

The light turned green and I ran.

Something had started to go wrong.

I stopped at the entrance of the park, caught my breath, and looked inside.

Kasuga and Soyama were there.

The two of them were sitting across from each other on a bench.

The atmosphere was… good.

What the hell am I even doing here? Why did Kasuga call me here? It’s a nice atmosphere, isn’t it? They can just do whatever they want. There’s no way I can just barge into something like this.

And then, I saw it.

Have you ever seen it?

Someone close to you…like a friend…kissing someone?

I saw it.

It made me feel incredibly conflicted.

And at the same time, I finally realized—far too late—the true nature of the strange feeling I’d had ever since I left the house.

I couldn’t see the points anymore.

I couldn’t see their points at all.