Vol. 1 Chapter 5 – Victory Celebration

Ermia seems to be staying at Bangwall Fortress for just today and will return to Ortenatris tomorrow.

The one who came to inform me of this was the female knight who served as Ermia’s attendant and had followed after her into the fortress.

It was this female knight who told me everything about the circumstances that brought Ermia here.

She said that although they were told that no reinforcements were necessary, she insisted on coming here for my sake.

The more I heard about it, the more I was chilled by just how much of a headstrong princess she is—far beyond anything I could compare to—but at the same time, I was deeply happy.

However, if that’s the case, then what just happened with the “naked brother incident” must have deeply wounded Ermia’s heart.

She came to check on her brother’s safety, yet what she found was that brother butt-naked flirting with a maid—of course she would be furious.

By the way, it seems that their father, who was left behind, trudged his way back to Ortenatris.

Naturally, as the head of the house, he couldn’t stay away from Ortenatris for too long.

“Um, Shalka-sama. I am terribly sorry for causing all of this.”

“No, Nicoletta, this is not your fault. This was all caused by my own lack of crisis awareness.”

Nicoletta and I had returned to my room after that.

There was no way I could return to my earlier mood, so we simply washed ourselves in silence and left the bath.

“No, but still…”

“Nicoletta, this is an issue between me and Ermia-sama. If you get involved, it will only complicate things further. So just forget about it, alright?”

Well, honestly, I’m the one who wants to forget.

The chill of the stone floor seeped deep into my bones.

“Yes…but Shalka-sama, please refrain from doing something like that.”

“Hm? What is it? Am I doing something strange?”

I was currently lying face-down on the floor.

Just like how dogeza symbolizes it, people can demonstrate the degree of their remorse by adjusting the height of their head.

What an epoch-making invention this is.

“Y-yes. For the eldest son of the Ortenos Marquisate to be lying face-down on the floor like that—I do not think that is appropriate.”

“Even if you say that, my reputation has fallen to the ground. Therefore, it is only natural that I should merge with the ground itself.”

If possible, I would like to be punished under the crime of public indecency.

That’s how strong the guilt is that I can’t shake off—having shown something so filthy to the divine Ermia.

“That’s not reasonable at all, and your reputation doesn’t fall just because someone saw you naked. If someone else were to see this, they’d be terribly worried, so please stop.”

Nicoletta tried to help me recover, but what just happened was even more shocking than when, in my previous life, my mother caught me masturbating.

For my beloved little sister to see me in such a disgraceful state… ugh, my head…

“I have become the floor itself. Please just leave me be.”

“No way!”

Nicoletta grabbed me by both arms—now limp—and lifted me up.

As expected of a Stellar-class, she easily lifted me back up.

“Shalka-sama, please compose yourself. We have a victory celebration coming up.”

“A victory celebration?”

“Yes. On a day as joyous as this, there is no reason not to hold one. There is a dining hall reserved for the nobility, so it will be held there. Incidentally, Her Highness will also be in attendance.”

“Ermia-tan will be…?”

For a moment, I felt as though I could see a glimmer of hope.

If it’s during the victory celebration, maybe I can speak with her in a more relaxed atmosphere.

“Yes, that’s right.”

“I see… then, I must make up with her.”

“Yes. …By the way, I do have a plan that might help improve your relationship with Her Highness.”

“…Let’s hear it.”

A drowning man will even grasp at straws.

I decided to grasp the thread that had been dangled before me.

◇◇◇◇

The victory celebration was held on a small scale.

Most of the soldiers were apparently holding a much larger celebration outside.

Here, only the officers who had been near me took part.

As the lamps were being lit, Ermia appeared in the dining hall. Since the officers present were all men, they collectively caught their breath at her beauty.

I tried to calm myself by rubbing the sweat-drenched gold coin in my right hand.

The first words are the most important — I need to stay calm here…

“E-Ermia-sama, g-g-good evening. About earlier…”

“The worst.”

“Guhah…”

Ermia suddenly threw a vicious jab.

One down.

This is bad — I was so nervous that I got knocked out right from the start.

‘No, calm down, me. There’s still Nicoletta’s plan!’

Seeing I was floundering, Nicoletta immediately stepped in to support me.

“We have been waiting for you, Princess. Tonight we have prepared a modest victory banquet to celebrate Shalka-sama’s triumph. I’m sure you will enjoy—”

“You were the maid who was just in the bath with Shalka, weren’t you?”

Nicoletta, too, was tripped up at the very start.

“Y-yes.”

“Since when did you become Shalka’s attendant?”

“I—I was officially appointed as Shalka-sama’s attendant as of today by Getrad-sama.”

“Getrad did? …How meddlesome.”

“Uh…”

Ermia, her expression as unreadable as a Noh mask, leaned in and whispered into Nicoletta’s ear.

“…Listen carefully. If you lay a hand on Shalka, I will never forgive you.”

“Eek! M-my deepest apologies!”

I had no idea what the two of them had just been talking about.

Whatever Ermia whispered, it left Nicoletta pale as a sheet and she hurried off to the kitchen.

Was it just my imagination or did Nicoletta look completely knocked out, too?

“…Now then, let us hear some words from our commander, Shalka-sama!”

Getrad called on me to make a speech.

Well, of course — I am the guest of honor tonight. If I don’t take the lead, who will?

‘Hmm…? Isn’t this my chance to naturally talk to Ermia?’

Not that I’m doing anything illegal — I’m just talking to my sister — but right now, even that feels difficult, so I was pouring all my focus into finding a natural way to speak to her.

While spinning the gold coin at high speed in my right hand, I composed my speech in my head.

“Ehh— Everyone, you worked hard today. This great victory is thanks to your dedication. Please take this opportunity to fully recover your strength, so that starting tomorrow you can press forward with renewed vigor. Though, my apologies that your first job will be cleaning up my mess.”

I slipped in a small witty joke, like a『Whoops, I totally wrecked Bangwall’s walls, tehe☆』.

The officers found it amusing, but Ermia didn’t so much as crack a smile.

‘Calm down, me—this isn’t over yet. I can still do this.’

“Ahem! …And as you may have already noticed, rejoice, everyone! At the last minute, Ortenos’s proud White Princess, Ermia-sama, has come all this way to celebrate our military achievement. Ermia-sama, we are truly grateful for your presence here today.”

“…Hmph.”

I turned toward Ermia and gave a bow.

Of course, this was actually Ermia’s own reckless idea, but there was no way I’d say that out loud.

Ermia turned her face away with a pout at my words.

Honestly… that was kind of cute.

“Everyone, even though this is a banquet, please don’t go too overboard. Now then—cheers!”

“Cheers!”

Somehow, I managed to finish the speech.

Out of the several round tables lined up, Ermia and I sat facing each other at one of them.

Just having spoken to her earlier had given me a tiny bit of relief.

But reality is cruel.

‘…She’s not meeting my gaze at all. Am I dead?’

Ermia had completely removed me from her field of vision.

At this rate, I might actually cry.

Experience told me that trying to speak to an angry Ermia would only make her even angrier.

I also knew this wasn’t an issue I could just leave to fester.

But even if it was an accident, how am I supposed to face a little sister after showing her my penis?

I didn’t have a little sister in my previous life—there’s no way I’d know how to handle this…

The food, which the cooks must have put their hearts into making, tasted like nothing at all.

◇◇◇◇

“Lovely weather today, wasn’t it, Ermia-sama?”

“…Yes.”

In the end, I couldn’t endure the silence any longer and decided to speak to Ermia.

If we both stayed quiet, the air would just get more and more stifling and awkward.

“The food is delicious, isn’t it, Ermia-sama?”

“…Yes.”

“You’re looking beautiful today as well, Ermia-sama.”

“…!”

She shot me a sharp glare.

So this is what they mean by『no way in』.

While I was pondering what to try next, Nicoletta’s plan kicked in first.

“I’m Dante!”

“I’m Nogihon!”

“I’m Rotten!”

“「「「Uhh—Limbo!」」」”

Nicoletta had organized a『hidden talent show』 performed by the officers.

The idea was that if we could make Ermia even crack a smile, surely she’d forgive me.

The first act was a limbo dance by the three idiot officers.

These were the fools who had been the first to charge during the fortress assault.

Watching them slip under the steadily lowering bar in time with the beat was surprisingly entertaining.

“Hot! Hot-hot! Uhh—Fire Limbo!”

In the end, Rotten caught fire on the flaming bar and the act ended in chaos.

For a first act, it got the crowd pretty excited.

Now then, what about Ermia—?

…Yeah, not even a twitch of her facial muscles.

Time to reset and move on to the next act.

“I’m Josef. Allow me to show you all a strange and mysterious vanishing trick.”

The second act was a magic show performed by an intellectual-looking, bearded officer.

Josef produced several silver coins.

When he pushed the coins into his proud beard, they vanished from his hands in a flash.

Amazing. How in the world did he do that?

As he kept stuffing more coins into his beard, the crowd erupted with cheers.

“As you can see, I can also retrieve them like this.”

Silver coins came back out of the beard.

“Ohhh!”

“Please, Your Highness, check if they are real.”

Ah, the classic magician’s move — audience participation.

Surely this would get Ermia to enjoy herself…

“I’d rather not touch that.”

“…Gahhh!”

Ermia cut him down without mercy.

Well, yeah — beards are tricky. Without a sense of cleanliness, they just don’t work.

Even I had to sympathize with Josef on this one.

No doubt he’s going to struggle from now on to balance magic tricks with proper grooming.

A few more participants tried their luck after that, but they were all completely defeated.

Frankly, none of their acts were things a girl would enjoy and most were half-baked ideas — that was probably why they failed.

Still, they all showed great spirit, so I applauded them.

…Only one performer remained.

“Cheers! I’m Dadinga! Here comes the Muscle Wave Style!”

The final contestant was a middle-aged man with a techno cut, a huge frame, and way too much energy.

…Is this guy going to be okay?

When I gave him a look, Dadinga flashed me a dazzling white grin and gave me a thumbs-up.

He seemed confident.

I, however, had nothing but bad feelings about this…

“First, the standard『Magic Martial Arts』… Haaa! Hah-hah! Ei! Ei-ei!”

He lowered his stance, rooted himself firmly, and began launching straight punches.

This was the kata of Magic Martial Arts — an unarmed combat style that uses magic to strengthen the body.

Each time Dadinga’s fists moved, a boom rang through the hall, as if the air itself was being struck.

“Ei-sha! Ei-sha! Ei-sha! Aaryoo-shaa!”

Ooh, this was a fierce performance.

A roundhouse kick followed by a reverse roundhouse.

In close-quarters combat without weapons, the winner is decided by skill in Magic Martial Arts.

Dadinga wasn’t going for some weird joke — he was taking the straightforward approach.

This might actually work.

“And now, the real Muscle Wave Style… Hey, bring that in!”

Several officers hauled in a massive boulder.

It was taller than Dadinga himself.

“To think that I’d be able to demonstrate my Muscle Wave Style in front of the Muscle Evangelist himself — what a blessing!”

Dadinga said something strange while looking at me, but I decided to ignore it for now.

Then he inhaled deeply, exhaled slowly, and took a stance with his fist ready.

“Fuhn!”

With his shout, the shirt on his upper body exploded off him.

Apparently, he had flexed his muscles so hard that he tore it apart.

What a certain sumo stablemaster vibe.

But at this point, Ermia was already grimacing.

This was starting to look… ominous.

“Muscle Wave Style, Third Form — Bone-Crushing Fist! Fuyoh!”

With a shrill cry, Dadinga drove his fist into the boulder.

“…Fuyoh, fuyoh, fuyoh, fuyoh, FYOoooDROOOOWIIIIITCH!”

With every shout, he struck again and again, until finally, the boulder was shattered into tiny fragments.

For a Stellar-class, that was quite an impressive amount of power.

I wasn’t confident my sense for measuring that was accurate, though.

“Ohhh!”

The officers erupted into cheers, applauding and shouting with approval.

I joined in too, giving in to the pressure of the crowd.

Apparently, it really had been an amazing performance.

I nervously glanced over at Ermia’s face.

“In the end, it’s no different from regular Magic Martial Arts…”

Ermia let out a dissatisfied mutter.

I mean…yeah, I thought the same thing too but you can’t just say that out loud.

“Muscle Evangelist-sama!”

For some reason, Dadinga came over to me.

I wanted to think I was just imagining things, but didn’t he just call me Muscle Evangelist?

“How was it? My Muscle Wave Style?”

“Huh? Oh, well, I guess it was pretty good?”

“Ohh! To receive words of praise from Muscle Evangelist Shalka-sama — this Dadinga is overjoyed beyond belief!”

…Wait.

Did he just say something I cannot ignore?

“Hold up. Who are you calling Muscle Evangelist?”

“Why, of course — Muscle Evangelist Shalka-sama.”

“Hah?”

Ermia’s eyes narrowed dangerously.

This was starting to feel bad.

“Have you truly forgotten? About eight years ago, when I had hit a wall on the path of martial training, you were the one who showed me the way of muscle training.”

“Nope. Don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“No, it’s true! You bestowed upon me the legendary words,『Strength training is justice』. There’s no mistake — it was you, Muscle Evangelist Shalka-sama!”

Ah—

Now that he mentioned it, I did have a faint memory of that.

Back in my previous life, there had been a huge strength training boom. I vaguely recalled blurting it out in front of a troubled officer, almost without thinking.

Ermia gave me a flat, deadpan look.

“I—I don’t know anything about that! Nothing at all!”

I decided to play dumb.

But Dadinga brushed it off without a care.

“No need for modesty. To think of forsaking magic and honing one’s body purely through muscle training — that’s an idea I never would have conceived as a magic-user. Truly, as expected of Muscle Evangelist Shalka-sama. You possess a flexibility of thought beyond ordinary men.”

“…Hey, wait. You’re not seriously trying to make that title stick, are you?”

“Oh, no no — it’s already stuck. When I established the Muscle Wave Style school, I spread your name far and wide as the founder of its philosophy and ideals.”

“What… did you just say?”

Dadinga declared this with pride.

He must have thought he was doing me a favor.

This was like having your address printed in a magazine back in the Showa era.

A nuisance of the highest order — but the fact that it was done out of goodwill made it impossible to deal with.

Shalka @ Muscle Evangelist, huh? Couldn’t get more shady than that.

Across from me, Ermia wore a look like she was about to sigh any second now.

“The Muscle Wave Style has gained the support of many comrades who were troubled along the path of martial arts. These days, it has even been spreading among women. Shalka-sama’s popularity has also been rising — there are even those who say they’d like to be held in your arms at least once…”

I couldn’t care less about popularity with women — but it’s not exactly a bad thing either.

…Wait, murderous intent from straight ahead.

“Shalka…?”

Ermia’s gaze was fixed on me, the same way one would look at trash.

A bead of cold sweat slid down my back.

Right — provoking Ermia on anything involving women was a bad idea.

I needed to shut Dadinga up right now.

“And so, Shalka-sama, from now on—”

“Riiight! Since the party’s at its peak, let’s wrap up the victory banquet here! Dismissed! Go do the afterparty however you like!”

I clapped once by myself and declared the banquet over in a half-panicked tone.

Damn it, how did it come to this?

The whole point of the hidden talent show was to cheer Ermia up.

Instead of cheering her up, I’d just made things worse — way worse.

At this point, emotionally, I was two downs.

It felt like I was in check but if it’s come to this, I have no choice but to just apologize to her directly.

Ahh, I just want to make up with her already…

◇◇◇◇

“Ermia-sama.”

“What is it?”

I called out to Ermia in the hallway as she was on her way back to her room.

It was already past nine o’clock.

She would probably bathe after this, then go to bed in her room.

“Ermia-sama, I sincerely apologize for what happened earlier.”

“And just what exactly are you apologizing for?”

“For— for having shown you something so disgraceful. I am truly, deeply sorryyyy!”

Dogeza.

No shame, no pride — this was the ultimate secret technique I had brought with me from Earth, the treasured sword passed down through generations.

At my display, Ermia’s attendant and Nicoletta both began to panic.

“…”

“I… I just want to make up with you, Ermia-tan. I know I’m a pathetic brother, but please, can’t you forgive me?”

I raised my head and spoke my true feelings honestly.

“…You don’t even know how I feel…”

“Huh?”

“You just want to apologize, be forgiven and feel better about yourself — isn’t that why you’re saying all this? You have no idea what I’ve been feeling all day today.”

Now that she said it, I couldn’t help but feel like I really had been handling things poorly today.

I had tried too many things I wasn’t used to, and as a result, everything had twisted out of shape like this.

“…You’re right. I really was insensitive.”

“That muscle guy from earlier said so too, didn’t he? That you must be quite popular with women. Is that why you’ve been going down to the castle town all the time — to do indecent things?”

“No, that’s a misunderstanding…”

Damn that musclehead, Dadinga…

“But with that maid, you really were doing something indecent, weren’t you? If you think apologizing will make me forgive you after that, you’re being far too selfish.”

“Wait, I wasn’t doing anything indec—”

I remembered that I had been, in fact, rubbing our genitals together with Nicoletta, and the words caught in my throat.

“The fact that you’re hesitating just proves you were doing something indecent. Of course — because your penis, it was all… it was all like that…!”

Ermia’s face flushed bright red as if she were recalling the scene.

No, no, please stop remembering it.

That’s not good for either of us.

“E-Ermia-tan?”

Ermia’s eyes welled with tears as she bit her lip in frustration.

Her magic power — it was surging, raging like a stormy sea.

“I hate you, Onii-sama! You… you pervert!”

“Per…vert?!”

Three downs — KO.

Ermia stormed off at a brisk pace.

As she was leaving, I caught a glimpse of something — some kind of golden ornament clenched in her hand.

What was that…?

“『Hate me』, huh…”

“Um… Shalka-sama, are you alright?”

“…Heh… ahahaha…”

“…Shalka-sama?”

Nicoletta looked up at me worriedly.

I had always thought of myself as the capable older brother, quietly supporting my little sister from behind the scenes.

And now, I’d been reduced to nothing more than a perverted brother.

“…No, I’m fine. I just… cleared my head a little.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah.”

Maybe Ermia was right — maybe it really was selfish of me to just want to make up with her.

‘So, in the end, had I only been thinking about myself?’

If that’s true, then that stings a little.

I thought I had been considering those around me.

It felt like the ground beneath my feet was starting to shake.

…Even so — keep it simple.

If there’s one thing I can hold firm within myself—

If there’s just one thing I absolutely don’t want her to misunderstand, it’s this:

――That I care for Ermia more than anyone else in this world.

Even if those feelings remain one-sided, that’s fine.

Even if she calls me a pervert, even if she hates me, that’s fine.

Just— the reverse can never, ever be true.

That much, at least, I wanted her to know.

‘Is this how fathers of daughters feel?’

Still, this situation is far too raw and messy to call it『father-daughter』.

This feels less like a sibling quarrel and more like a lovers’ spat.

I’m no expert at dealing with women but if it’s that emotional, headstrong little princess, I know a thing or two about her.

I’ve been through petty misunderstandings, painful times, and even the threat of Ortenos’s destruction, and come out the other side with trust and results.

“If I’m going to be called a pervert, then maybe I should do it in a way that suits the name.”