Vol. 3 Chapter 2 – Hands on the Waist, Head on the Knees
by PinkPanther“Now then, Ryousuke.”
That night after returning from school, Lisara turned her serious gaze toward Ryousuke at the dinner table. No, it wasn’t just Lisara. Beside her, Kyuru also had a firm expression on her face as she stared at Ryousuke.
“This is, in a way, an important question that will decide our future, so I want you to answer it properly.”
Faced with their serious stares, Ryousuke swallowed hard and nodded.
“It’s about Mina.”
“M-Mina? Did something happen with her? Don’t tell me she was actually the Singular One..”
With Mina, it wouldn’t be impossible. She had 1.5 million in spiritual energy, which didn’t just surpass Ryousuke’s 15,000, but even the average human’s 30,000 by a huge margin. Indeed, Singular Ones possessed spiritual energy that easily exceeded ten million. But with Mina—who had top grades, great looks, and above all, those breasts—even if she turned out to be something even more amazing, it would all make sense.
As Ryousuke was thinking that, Lisara shook her head.
“Wrong. Mina’s spiritual energy is certainly impressive, but she’s still not the Singular One. With just one million, a First-Class Shinigami wouldn’t be assigned exclusively to her. That’s how rare and special First-Class Shinigami are.”
Having met Lisara and Iria—both First-Class Shinigami—Ryousuke didn’t quite feel the gravity of those words, but that was the reality.
“Then… what about Mina?”
Feeling a bit irritated, Ryousuke glared at Lisara. He had taken care of Mina when she wet herself and cried, and because of that closeness, he couldn’t see her as a romantic partner but precisely because she was like family, the idea of something happening to her made him worry.
“Tell us what Mina was doing.”
“What do you mean?”
“Yes, please tell us how Mina was using the mysterious bust-enhancing spiritual milk.”
“…Huh?”
Ryousuke almost slid off his chair in shock.
“I searched the internet, but only found normal ways to drink milk. But for Mina’s bust to have developed that much, there must be a special method of drinking it for breast enhancement!”
Don! Lisara slammed the table.
“Yes, exactly! While Lisara-oneesama may have no hope left, this Kyuru still has potential. If I drink it the same way Mina-san does, even if I can’t reach that size, there’s a good chance I can grow more!”
Beside her, Lisara’s face twitched, but perhaps because the use of milk for bust enhancement was at stake, she endured it.
“You two… are you seriously saying this?”
Ryousuke looked at them half dumbfounded, but both nodded with grave expressions.
“We’re serious!”
“Completely serious, desu wa!”
“Even if you say that…”
“Please! In exchange, we’ve prepared a special dinner for you, Ryousuke!”
“N-no way. You mean it’s different from the usual dinner made from the time-sale leftovers?”
After all, both Lisara and Kyuru had come to the human world with no preparation whatsoever. Naturally, they had no money. As a result, the three of them lived off Ryousuke’s meager allowance, which was sent by his parents overseas. There was no way they could afford luxurious meals.
In other words, the leftover fish and meat on clearance basically controlled the Kaga family’s supply chain!
“Yes. Kyuru and I held back on our portions to buy steak meat.”
“W-what! Steak-sama, you say!?”
“Of course, it’s not expensive meat, but I soaked it in onion juice and pounded it thoroughly, so it should be soft and delicious!”
“Ku… Lisara, you’d make a good wife!”
“Huh… wh-what are you saying all of a sudden? I mean, well, yeah, if someone as beautiful as me who can cook too becomes a wife, it’s pretty obvious I’d be a great one, but when you suddenly say it like that, it’s kind of… embarrassing, you know? Geez…”
Lisara lowered her head, placing her left hand on her cheek while fluttering her right hand up and down shyly.
“Um, Onee-sama, I hate to ruin your bashful moment, but it seems Ryousuke-san isn’t listening at all?”
“Huh?”
When Lisara looked up, she found Ryousuke muttering to himself with a dreamy look and meat in his eyes.
“Meat, meat, oh sacred Meat-sama. The three powers that rule the world—sukiyaki, yakiniku, shabu-shabu—all of them born from Meat-sama… ku, once I hear the name of Meat-sama, how could I ever resist! Appetite, sexual desire, sleep—these are the three great human urges!”
“That’s appetite! And besides, isn’t sexual desire and meat desire the same thing?!”
“Oh my, Onee-sama’s being lewd.”
“Wha—no! I didn’t mean to say something dirty… anyway, Ryousuke, come back to reality! If you don’t tell us how to drink the milk, there’ll be no meat for you!”
“O-oh, right!”
Shaking his head, Ryousuke pulled himself out of his meat-trip.
‘Still… was there ever a special way to drink milk that grows boobs…?’
He mobilized all the knowledge in his brain.
Driven by the temptation of meat, he searched through knowledge that obviously didn’t exist.
‘Come to think of it, back when we went to the hot springs together, Mina said something. After getting out of the bath, wrapping yourself in a bath towel, placing your hands on your hips and gulping it down is the proper way to drink milk.’
It was a completely forgotten memory from when he was still a kid.
‘A slender Lisara wrapped in a bath towel and a still slightly childish yet voluptuous Kyuru together. That’s a seriously good image. Plus, with their long hair wrapped in towels, I’d be able to see their warm, glossy necks. The faint scent of shampoo. And when they drink milk, I might even catch a glimpse of their armpits.’
Just imagining it, he couldn’t stop anymore. He completely forgot the original purpose of discovering the bust-enhancing way to drink milk, and his delusions overflowed one after another.
‘And then their legs. From thighs to calves, the remaining hot water and sweat must be trickling down. I mean, just the idea of a girl letting liquid run down her legs from her hidden lower half is enough for me to eat three bowls of rice. Yeah, I could. I could turn that into a memory for life. That’s right, if you’re a man, you’ve gotta be honest with your dreams!’
Clenching his fist tightly, Ryousuke stared sharply at Lisara and Kyuru.
“Did you come up with something?”
“Yeah. After getting out of the bath, wrapped in a bath towel, with hands on the hips, looking up while drinking—it’s totally wonderful! Completely satisfying!”
“That’s it! That’s definitely it!”
Lisara clapped her hands.
“I see. After a bath, the improved circulation would help spread the milk’s nutrients throughout the body for bust enhancement.”
“When you put it like that, it’s a logically sound method, desu wa.”
The two nodded and stood up, while Ryousuke’s brain was still deep in a post-bath delusion trip.
“With this, I too can achieve a hyper purin-purin body. Fufu, fufufufufu…”
[oft, jiggly, and bouncy—especially in a plump or voluptuous way.]
“Fufufu, the thought of a bust-enhancing reward after a bath makes me love baths even more, desu wa.”
By the time Ryousuke realized it, the two had already headed off to the bath.
“Huh, I feel like their objective changed somewhere along the way…”
Ryousuke tilted his head, alone.
Then, unbelievably, it was a whole hour later when the two came out of the bath.
The moment he saw them, Ryousuke couldn’t help but shout out loud. He wasn’t angry that they kept him waiting for an hour. Girls had their own『kya-kya ufufu』bath time rituals. Just imagining it was enough to make him feel all warm and happy inside.
“Kyuru, did your boobs get bigger or something?”
“Kyaa, Onee-sama, don’t grope me~♡”
That was definitely the kind of thing that had gone on.
But when Ryousuke saw the two of them, he couldn’t help but shout and point it out.
“Listen, if you’re going to move around in just a towel after a bath, you have to wrap one around your head too! Especially since you both have long hair. That’s exactly why, even more so, you should wrap it with a towel!”
Collapsing onto the floor in front of Lisara and Kyuru, he got down on all fours and pounded the floor repeatedly.
“S-still, I just want to dry it properly… right, Kyuru?”
“Yes. Especially since Kyuru has naturally frizzy hair, proper care is important.”
“You idiots! The nape! The nape, dammit! If you don’t spread the scent of shampoo from your warm, slightly pinkish nape, then what’s even the point of getting out of the bath!”
“I-is that how it is?”
“Who knows?”
Kyuru turned her confused face toward Lisara, who shook her head.
“That’s exactly it! And then, halfway through, with a sigh, you slip off the towel and shake your hair. That’s what we call eroticism!”
“E-eroticism?”
Lisara twitched her eyebrow.
“Ryousuke, what’s the purpose of drinking milk in a bath towel after a bath?”
“To focus entirely on admiring Lisara’s slender bath towel figure and Kyuru’s selfishly plump bath towel figure, especially the nape and underarms!!”
Ryousuke declared without a single shred of hesitation, then lifted his torso and tilted his head.
“…Wait, was that the point again?”
“Haa~. So your lust beat out your hunger. You Erosuke…”
Lisara approached Ryousuke while holding the towel over her chest with her left hand.
“Eh, w-wait, Lisara!”
Ryousuke fell flat on his butt and scooted back, legs spread, but his back immediately bumped against the dining table’s leg with a dull gon.
“Hiiie, anything but that, please have mercy! I don’t want to be drained yet!”
Ryousuke tried to kick off the floor with his knees to scoot even further back, but the surprisingly heavy table didn’t budge much.
Lisara straddled Ryousuke, who was cowering in fear, kneeling over his legs as she reached for his chest.
“Fufu, don’t you think a dried-out Ryousuke would serve society, humanity, and the hearts of pure maidens better?”
Lisara smiled dryly. Behind her, Kyuru nodded along with an enthusiastic『Mm-hmm.』
“Wait, Lisara-san!”
“What? Don’t try to redeem yourself on your deathbed.”
“A pure maiden wouldn’t straddle a guy with just a towel on—no panties, no bra!”
“You Ero-sukeeeeeeeeee!”
With that blunt comment, something inside Lisara visibly snapped as she placed her hand on Ryousuke’s chest to suck out his lewd soul. Since her left hand was still holding her towel in place, she leaned in a bit too forcefully.
Lisara, kneeling on Ryousuke’s lap, straddled him and lowered her hips!
Sawa.
A light touch.
It tickled a bit, making Ryousuke’s knees twitch.
“Hyann!?”
Lisara let out an adorably sweet cry.
“…………”
“…………”
Ryousuke and Lisara locked eyes for a fleeting moment. In response to Ryousuke’s uncertain, doubtful gaze, Lisara’s face turned kaaaa red with embarrassment.
That was her silent affirmation of Ryousuke’s suspicion.
Yes, growing below the waist… was a red, red grassland. More precious than gold, an El Dorado every boy dreams of finding, now encountered at last.
“Eh, wait, seriously!?”
“N-noooooooooooo!”
Deep in Ryousuke’s soul—at the very core of human vitality, where the strongest spiritual energy resides—something began to throb violently. His life force, his Spiritual Energy, overflowed.
That’s right, Ryousuke Kaga’s power to live was rooted in his lewd desires. And, in an abnormal occurrence, Ryousuke responded to erotic stimulation by amplifying that power even more.
At the same time, 《Broken Sword Gram》 that had pierced into the depths of his soul let out a roar.
It absorbed Ryousuke’s overflowing erotic thoughts, trembled and began to rise with powerful vigor.
Alongside Ryousuke’s boy sword, 《Broken Sword Gram》 also grew thicker, stronger, and extended outward.
“O-Onee-sama, this is bad! If 《Gram》 fully awakens, I’m not sure Kyuru can restrain it!”
“Don’t worry! The master of 《Gram》, the Restall family’s treasured heirloom, is none other than me!”
At Kyuru’s scream-like shout, Lisara shouted back, and focused all her attention into the hand she had placed on Ryousuke’s chest.
“《Gram》, 《Broken Sword Gram》! I, Lisara Restall, your master, command you in my name! With optimal, efficient, and ultra-super express speed—offer to me the power of the soul I have embraced!”
──OooooOOOOOoooon.
《Gram》 stirred.
“《Gram》!”
Lisara cried out.
An instant later, Ryousuke’s life energy flowed into Lisara through 《Gram》. A massive amount of spiritual power was becoming Lisara’s own.
This was how she replenished her Existence Bond Raise, the spell that allowed a Shinigami to remain in the human world.
At the same time, it meant that Ryousuke’s erotic energy would be depleted.
Especially in an irregular case like this, it would be completely drained until not a drop was left. Afterward, Ryousuke would turn into a dried-up man who no longer cared about girls at all.
Even if he saw something lewd, even if something lewd happened right in front of him, he would feel nothing—just tears rolling down his cheeks.
“…Haa…”
Lisara, having completed her task, let out a rough breath, her bath towel now disheveled and exposing her pale chest halfway.
And it was all right in front of him.
The post-bath scent of a girl’s shampoo filled his nostrils, and he could feel the warmth still lingering on her slightly flushed skin.
Ryousuke, shedding bloody tears, could only mutter weakly.
Most of all, even though there was no cleavage, the gentle curve of her small breasts was clearly visible at her chest…
“Feeling nothing but heaviness in this situation… I might as well be dead as a man..”
“Onee-sama, you’re sooo booold ♡”
“Huh?”
Prompted by Ryousuke and Kyuru’s words, Lisara finally realized the position she was in and the sensation from her lower half. It was a situation that went far beyond the capacity of her shame tolerance.
Yes, Lisara’s brain is completely short-circuited.
As her eyes spun, a blush gradually spread from her neck up across her face.
“……………………..”
Then, one second after her ears turned red, Lisara’s brain finally rebooted, trembling uncontrollably.
“NoooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!”
With tears in her eyes, she bolted away.
“Thaaaat huuuuuurt!!”
Banging her little toe a few times along the way, frantically picking up her fallen bath towel, Lisara dashed into her room.
Following after her—
“Ugh, why, why won’t you stand, my boy, my precious son, stand up, you have to staaand! U-uoooooooon!”
Ryousuke, also in tears, ran into his own room.
Wan?”
Sticking his head out to see what was going on, Caesar let out a bark, while Kyuru gave a bitter smile.
“Aaah, they really are two peas in a pod.”
She gave a small shrug of her shoulders.
Incidentally, dinner was served three hours later, at 10 PM, after Lisara had finally recovered.
At the dinner table, Ryousuke said,
“Uh, well… I think drinking milk every day is best.”
He said that while also begging,『Please don’t drain me anymore』and in response, Lisara said,
“Let’s split the steak between all of us.”
With that, she was asking him to forget the embarrassing events from earlier.
And so—
“Aha, ahahahaha.”
“Aha, ahahahaha.”
The two of them let out dry laughs, acknowledging each other’s proposal.
“Truly, they are similar creatures… right, Caesar?”
“Wan!”
※ ※ ※
When he woke up, it was already afternoon.
And it was well past 1 o’clock.
There was no morning reaction. He didn’t even have any lewd dreams.
He had just… continued sleeping until noon, wrapped in this dull, couldn’t-care-less sort of feeling.
“So empty…”
Ryousuke got up sluggishly, sluggishly went about his morning routine, sluggishly realized there was no school due to exam break, sluggishly changed into his casual clothes, and sluggishly descended from his second-floor room to the dining table.
『You’re up quite late, aren’t you?』
Without even a good morning, Lisara immediately threw some shade or so he thought.
“Good morning, Ryousuke.”
She actually greeted him properly.
“Is it okay if I go ahead and make lunch?”
“Ah, no problem.”
Maybe it was the privilege of youth. Despite just waking up, Ryousuke’s stomach let out an aggressive guu-guu, protesting with full force.
Nutrition, he needed nutrition, above all else.
If his spirit couldn’t be nourished by anything erotic, then at least his body needed the calories or he’d die.
As he was thinking that, he suddenly noticed something.
“Lisara, don’t tell me… you haven’t eaten lunch yet?”
“Correct. Thanks to a certain sleepyhead, I’ve been starving.”
Tightening the strings of her apron, Lisara glared at him from the side.
“…Did you wait for me?”
“Well, making it separately would’ve been a pain, that’s all.”
That answer was a not-so-honest affirmation that she had waited for him.
“My bad.”
“You’re welcome, Master of the house. Though, it’s just salad and somen noodles.”
As he watched Lisara in her apron starting to cook in the kitchen, Ryousuke had a thought:
Was making somen separately really that much of a hassle…?
“By the way, the dipping sauce is homemade, so make sure you savor it properly, okay?”
“Homemade?”
“I found some katsuobushi, dried sardines, and kelp in the back of the kitchen. I made the dashi from scratch with soy sauce and mirin.”bonito flakes1
Lisara added cold water to the boiling pot.
“Removing the heads and guts from the dried sardines one by one is more trouble than you’d think.”
“Huh…”
Ryousuke had absolutely no understanding of cooking.
“…Right. Explaining it to you really is pointless, isn’t it.”
“Sorry.”
“Not at all.”
With her back to him, she gave a slight shrug.
“You’re starving anyway, right?”
Along with a salad, Lisara placed a large bowl full of somen noodles on the dining table.
“Wait, there are only two pairs of chopsticks. What about Kyuru’s share?”
“Kyuru said she got invited to a movie by a friend she made at Momozono Academy. She said she’d be hanging out until evening.”
“She already made a friend? That girl’s unexpectedly social, huh…”
“She’s really good at putting on a cat face”cat face2.
“I see. Spoken like a true victim, so I trust your judgment.”
“…Sorry for that.”
Lisara poured dipping sauce into a small soba cup, her face showing a look of mild displeasure.
“Well, whatever. Now then, itadakimasu.”
“Itadakimasu.”
Zuru zuru—the two of them slurped up their somen.
The light dipping sauce was surprisingly refreshing. Unlike store-bought versions, it wasn’t overly sweet and went down Ryousuke’s throat smoothly.
Even so, it still had a solid flavor. Lisara’s cooking skills were clearly nothing to scoff at.
“Hey, Ryousuke.”
Lisara swallowed a strand of somen with a tsurun.
“It’s exam break, but do you have any plans?”
“As of now, none. I haven’t been asked out by a beautiful girl, nor do I have any obligations to follow Onee-sama’s around. I’ve got nothing going on.”
“…Don’t tell me you don’t have any friends?”
“That’s rude! Of course I do!”
“Then why hasn’t anyone invited you out?”
“Well, I mean… my typical weekends are pretty busy. Watching ecchi DVDs, reading ecchi books, going on hunts for ecchi points—it’s a whole field of research. Everyone knows how dedicated I am.”
“Th-that’s such a sad excuse for youth…”
“Shut up! Even if it looks pitiful to you, that youth—my youth—was fun! It was fun for me! But today… damn it, today and tomorrow, you’ve sucked all the ecchi energy out of me and I can’t get motivated at all! Egu… egu egu…”
“I know I’m supposed to feel responsible for that, but for some reason… I just don’t.”
Rather than a bitter smile, what Lisara wore on her face could only be described as a stiff, strained grin.
“Well, either way, that means you’re free, right?”
Lisara lightly slapped her cheeks, switching gears.
“Yeah, I’m free. Super free, in fact.”
“Then come along with me for a bit.”
“Come along? For what?”
“Obviously to search for the Singular One. What else could it be?”
“Well, yeah, but… Didn’t Iria say they already found the Singular One at the academy?”
“If it’s a student who doesn’t belong to a club, they wouldn’t be at school during break, right? That’s why I want you to show me places where the students usually hang out.”
“Ah, I see.”
“Then it’s settled. We’ll go right after lunch.”
Deciding everything on her own, Lisara resumed slurping her somen.
Watching her, Ryousuke thought lazily that, well, if he thought of it as repayment for the dipping sauce, then it couldn’t be helped.
***
“So hot…”
Lisara wiped her sweat. Even though it was already close to 4 PM, the summer sun showed no mercy as it beat down.
Amid that heat, they walked around various places—fast food joints, game centers, and a movie theater (which they didn’t enter because they had no money). Then there was that little incident in the shopping district, where Lisara discovered the existence of a 100-yen shop for the first time and got overly excited, buying things like cotton swabs and batteries.
At last, Ryousuke and Lisara arrived at a large park near Momozono Academy.
At the center was a big pond, surrounded by trees. Thanks to the atmosphere and the shade, the temperature here was definitely a few degrees lower than in the middle of town. Still, summer was summer—it was hot regardless.
“Not much success, huh?”
“Well, I didn’t really expect much to begin with. I mean, even on the day I met you, I was walking around using a detection spell and still got nothing. Even so, I’d rather be out doing something than just sitting at home.”
“I get that.”
From what Iria had said, it seemed like the Singular One wouldn’t be found through conventional methods.
That much, they had already resigned themselves to.
“Ah, Ryousuke.”
Suddenly, Lisara tugged on the sleeve of his T-shirt.
“A Singular One!?”
“Eh… ah, no no, it’s not that.”
Lisara blinked a few times, then smiled.
“Then what is it? Don’t startle me like that.”
“Ahaha, sorry! It’s not that—it’s that, that!”
Lisara pointed toward the pond.
“That…?”
Following the line from her fingertip…
“You mean the boats on the pond?”
“Yes! What are those? They’re so cute!!”
“If you think they’re cute, then you must mean the swan ones, not the regular paddleboats.”
“Exactly! I want to ride in one of those swan boats!”
“Haaaah?”
“What? For all we know, there could be a Singular One among the people riding those boats. That’s the reason. The reason. Not because they’re cute, okay?”
“Yeah, like I’d believe that.”
“Tehe♡”
She gave him an exaggerated smile, sticking out her tongue slightly.
“Well, whatever. Exams are over, right? Taking a break is important too.”
“Every word you just said sounds like an excuse, Lisara…”
Then Lisara suddenly hopped in front of Ryousuke.
“Okay then…I want to ride it because it’s cute. There. Satisfied?”
She said it while looking up at him from below.
It was… a pose that was hard to resist.
“Yeah yeah, fine, I get it. I’ll go with you, okay?”
“Thank you!”
With a bright, full smile, Lisara straightened her posture and started walking briskly toward the pier.
The boat dock was decently crowded, and after waiting about fifteen minutes, their turn finally came.
The white swan boat, painted in a typical black-and-white color scheme, was a two-seater pedal-powered type, like a bicycle.
“Y’know, I think this sometimes—humans come up with the most amusing ideas.”
Saying that, Lisara pedaled cheerfully, clearly in a good mood.
“Still, it really is a weekend, huh? And right before summer vacation too.”
Watching the boats pass by, Ryousuke gave a slightly self-deprecating bitter smile.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, just look around. There are more couples than families out here.”
“Ah… you’re right…”
Lisara’s eyes widened.
“Well, boat rides in parks are kind of meant for that. It’s basically a couples’ attraction.”
“…Is that so?””
“Yeah. Now you get why I was reluctant about this?”
Ryousuke glared at her jiro-ri, and Lisara turned her face away.
“How was I supposed to know?”
“Yeah, yeah. But if we run into classmates now, they’re definitely gonna think we’re dating again.”
“R-really?”
“Guaranteed.”
“H-hmm, I see. That would be a problem, wouldn’t it…”
“Right? I mean, I personally don’t really care though.”
“Eh?”
“Well, look at me. It’s not like I’m popular or in any position to worry about that stuff.”
Saying it himself made Ryousuke feel a little depressed.
“Ah, right. Yeah… I see…”
Maybe she picked up on Ryousuke’s sadness, because Lisara also responded in a slightly downcast tone.
“Wh-what!!”
Lisara suddenly raised her voice.
“What the hell, don’t scare me like that!”
“Look, over there!”
Crouching slightly to hide her face, Lisara pointed with her finger.
“Don’t tell me it’s another cute thing or—”
It was the complete opposite of that.
There floated Tamano and his classmate Oohira in a rowboat, looking oddly chummy.
“…Are they gay?”
No, that couldn’t be.
Both were prominent figures in the school’s underground information network for girl-watchers, the Mankokapakku Party—Tamano as the first president and Oohira as the second. Tamano was known to be as much of a girl-chaser as Ryousuke and Oohira was just as much a fetishist. There was no way those two would ever be interested in men instead of girls.Mankokapakku Party3
“What the hell are they doing…?”
“Ryousuke, hide!!”
Lisara suddenly pushed down on Ryousuke’s head.
“H-hey!”
“I-it’s just that… you know, that, that’s why!”
Lisara’s face, looking up from below, was noticeably red.
“Uhh, that… ah, yeah. If those two see us here like this, it’s gonna be a hassle later.”
“Right!?”
“But this place isn’t all that big…”
“Um… y-you can rest your head on my lap. Just this once.”
“Eh!?”
“This swan boat is bigger and higher than theirs. If you lower your line of sight, they won’t see us.”
As she said that, Lisara grabbed Ryousuke’s head, guided him into a supine position and gently laid the back of his head onto her thigh.
Fuwa, funyun.
His head fit perfectly.
Soft and warm—not just the back of his head, but his whole head felt cradled.
“Haaaaa…”
He couldn’t help but exhale.
“Hey! Be quiet!”
“Mmmph!”
Lisara clamped a hand over his mouth.
“Huh? Isn’t that Lisara-kun over there?”
“Yeah, it’s definitely Lisara-san.”
The voices of Tamano and Oohira came closer.
“O-ohohoho, what a coincidence, you two!”
“Yes, indeed. Lisara-kun and I must be bound by fate after all.”
“I’ll be cutting that bond first thing tomorrow.”
“Hau…”
“Are you alone, Lisara-san?”
“Yes, Oohira-kun. I was just out taking a breather. But what about you two, in the middle of all these couples? Don’t tell me you’re dating each other?”
“「「No.」」”
Tamano and Oohira immediately denied it in perfect sync.
“We’re on a recon mission for the girls’ database. Whether or not someone has a significant other affects their rank, so we have to conduct periodic surveys.”
“Oohira-kun, you’re not supposed to say that out loud.”
“A-ah, right, sorry Tamano-senpai.”
“Uhh, what are you two talking about?”
“Ahahaha! Well then, see you at the final exam break festival rehearsal!”
“Tamano-senpai!”
Tamano and Oohira’s boat drifted away.
“…What the hell was that. Ryousuke, you can sit up now.”
But Lisara’s voice didn’t reach Ryousuke’s ears.
Why not?
Because… this was lap pillow time.
A mystical lap pillow.
A girl’s lap pillow.
The most sacred, most valuable, softest, most divine lap pillow a girl could offer in this world. Even though it’s called a『lap pillow』, the head is actually nestled into those soft, slightly plump thighs.
If you looked at it from a Darwinian evolutionary theory perspective:
‘Humanity evolved bipedalism just to achieve lap pillows!!’
It was a lap pillow that you couldn’t say wasn’t perfect.
The feeling of her thighs pressing up against the back of his head was making Ryousuke’s entire being slowly heat up with a sense of happiness.
On this rough, wild prairie, the blessings of pathos were beginning to pour down upon him.
Like this, he could feel his will to live gradually returning.
“Ugh, you’re making such a happy face!”
If he had one complaint, it was this:
Even though he was lying on his back like this, Lisara didn’t have any breast mountains to look up at.
The holy twin hills he should have been seeing from below… surely they would’ve been divine…
“──!!”
“Ouch!”
Lisara smacked him on the head with a pokan.
“What was that for!?”
“You were thinking something rude just now, weren’t you!?”
“Eh, well… ahahaha…”
Resigned, he sat up—
“Again!?”
Ryousuke’s head was grabbed again.
“What now!?”
“Those two… they’re coming back again!”
“Good job!”
“H-hey, listen here!”
“Well then, once again, I know I may be lacking in many ways—”
“What are you even saying—wait, heyyy!”
Just as Ryousuke dove toward her bewitching thighs, Lisara caught his head with both hands.
“What! I just wanted to get back into the lap pillow position!”
“Why were you going in face first? You’re supposed to lie on your back, on your back!”
Yes, this time Ryousuke had gone for a face-down lap pillow.
“Because the proper lap pillow method must be this way! It has to be! I mean, it’s not fair to let only the back of my head feel happiness. My face deserves some happiness too!”
“Throw away that kind of happiness!”
“No way! I might hesitate to do it on my own, but if someone offers it, I’ll accept it with arms wide open and savor every second of it!!”
“L-like hell I’d let that happen!”
Ryousuke tried to bury his face in her thighs and Lisara tried to keep him back—head clashing with her grip, closing in, pulling back, advancing again, the two locked in a fierce standoff.
“Ugh, do you hate it that much?”
“I-told-you-no!”
“…Then what about… from the side?”
“The side?”
“A sideways lap pillow. You know, the ear-cleaning style.”
“……………………”
Lisara thought about it for a second.
“But you’re not gonna do anything weird, right?”
“By weird, you mean like groping your butt or sniffing around while I’m enjoying the lap pillow of my dreams?”
“M-mouu…I’ll clean your ears or whatever, so just don’t do that! I mean it!”
“Don’t take me so seriously! I’d never do something that a girl hates… not unless I’ve totally lost control! I’m more of a daydreamer than a doer!”
He declared it with conviction.
“Well….now that you mention it, that is true. You’re strangely considerate in the weirdest ways.”
“Heh… being kind to girls is my policy… wait, huh?”
Ryousuke, turning his face to the side, suddenly realized something.
“What is it?”
“Lisara, you said you’d clean my ears, didn’t you?”
“Eh? That was just in the heat of the moment… do you… actually want me to?”
Lisara looked away as she spoke. Hearing her say it so honestly made Ryousuke’s heart pound like he was in some innocent couple scene out of a romantic manga.
“Um, well, I won’t beg for it… but if you did, I’d be… really happy.”
“……………………..Fine.”
“Huh?”
“Come on, hurry up and lie down in my lap and hide!!”
Lisara forcefully shoved Ryousuke’s head into her thighs.
“Mugyuu!”
The sideways lap pillow was complete.
In the end, Tamano and Oohira turned off somewhere halfway and went away…
“So it was pointless, huh. Guess that means… no ear cleaning after all…”
Ryousuke felt both disappointment and, oddly, a bit of relief.
To have your ears cleaned by a girl while lying in her lap—every man’s lifelong dream. And now that once-in-a-lifetime chance might be gone forever.
“Don’t move.”
As Ryousuke tried to sit up, Lisara pushed his head back down.
“Huh?”
“…I bought cotton swabs at the 100-yen shop, remember? I want to see how they work.”
“E-eh?”
“I said, I’m going to clean your ears!”
“Are you serious!?”
“Don’t move!”
Lisara shoved Ryousuke’s head down with full strength.
“O-ow ow ow, that hurts!”
“I’m hurting too, okay!”
“Then just don’t do it!”
“…Y-you’re right.”
After saying that, Lisara let out a quiet giggle.
“Fufu… no matter how ticklish it gets, you can’t move, alright?”
“Y-yeah.”
Ryousuke thought, thank god I’m facing to the side right now.
Because for some reason, that little laugh of hers made his face go bright red. She was definitely going to call him a pure-hearted virgin or something if she saw it.
‘Man… this is throwing me way off balance…’
“Hmm… firm cotton swab, huh…”
Lisara murmured as she gently inserted it into Ryousuke’s ear.
And seconds later—
“IT HUUUUUUUUURTS!!!”
Ryousuke writhed in agony.
“…Come to think of it, trying to clean someone’s ears on a shaking boat is completely impossible, isn’t it.”
“CURSE YOU, WAVES!!”
※Note: This is a continuation of『So, I Can’t Play H. Vol.3』. This is not a printing error.
Once again this year, foolish humans are making a loud fuss for my sake.
In the darkness, my research shall advance even further.
And that research, just as it is, shall also become the very source of my power to continue existing within the human world.
What’s more, this year, they’ve gone out of their way to gather the very humans I had set my sights on.
What incredibly foolish creatures humans are.
My research is progressing smoothly.
The day I correct this world draws near.
Ah yes, it’s true—last year there was an irregularity.
A trifling one, insignificant, yet I may have mishandled it slightly.
That failure likely had some influence.
It is a fact that several disruptive elements have slipped in.
However, elements of that level can be eliminated without issue.
There is no Shinigami in existence who can stand against me—feared even by the Restall family.
Especially now that I possess that.
There is absolutely no problem.
And even those disruptive elements have conveniently gathered in one place, alongside the humans I had targeted.
What extraordinary luck.
This year too, I shall gain something, even as I remove the nuisances in my way.
Humans, go ahead—release yourselves.
Expose everything.
Rejoice. Tremble in ecstasy.
As I squeeze you dry.
Yes, from the chosen humans, I shall extract it.
I shall squeeze the breasts.
I shall extract the white, sacred power from the breasts.
I will drink it down and make it mine!
Wait for me…
You who bear the tanks known as 『OPPAI.』
Through my science, I shall liberate those breasts and squeeze it all out.
And when that moment comes, the humans shall weep with joy and offer me their gratitude!
※Note: As expected, this was indeed a part of 『So, I Can’t Play H. Vol.3』